Will cell phones be the next step?

By: Julia Zalewski

Posted: 11/4/09

By Julia Zalewski

Sooner rather than later, this student enforced smoking ban is about to be underway, which means smoking pits will no longer be needed. So, I propose that these smoking pits be turned into cell phone pits, like the one outside of the Kennedy-Newman dorms.

Recent scientific studies have shown, that people using cell phones for ten years or longer have a significantly higher risk for brain and salivary gland tumors according to Jane Houlihan, who does research for the Environmental Working Group who conduct radiation level studies.

The way your cell phone works is much like a radio, you make a call and your voice is transmitted from an antenna like a radio frequency emitting radiation. The radiation then penetrates into your head and is absorbed, reaching inches into your brain. Since we're on our way to becoming a healthier campus, let's one up the smoking ban and come up with the cell phone ban, but to do this we must start one step at a time. Like my mother always taught me, "the way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time."

The rules are simple, do not take a call or make a call outside of these pits so that the radiation can be contained in one area all on the same stream to a cell phone tower. This way, the waves won't be 'second hand phoned' to innocent bystanders. If you are to make a call outside of this cell phone pit, put it on speaker to reduce the radiation from seeping through to your brain. Who cares if others can hear your conversation with your mom who needs to set up an appointment with a doctor for that weird lump growing on your stomach, or for your gangrene infected foot? Privacy is overrated anyway.

If anyone is caught walking around campus with a cell phone mere centimeters away from their ear, siren towers are being put in next to the blue lights. A student bystander can swiftly run to the tower, set off the alarm and everyone can point out the radiation perpetrator. Then, in disciplinary action, the perpetrator will owe a Koster's swipe to the victim who caught the guilty user.

Next on my agenda, is contacting the National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign who is responsible for the Living Above the Influence and the Truth commercials in hopes that this can become a national campaign.

After the cell phone ban has reached it's fullest potential, my campaign will grow. Trends among teenagers are just leading to a global hullabaloo, causing greater damaging effects to the environment. Next, I will lead the bans at Bellarmine University on hair spray usage, cars on campus, excessive eating of fast food, heating and air conditioning units, and so on. The sky is truly the limit.