Never Say Never; Especially With Two Horizontal Lines on a Pregnancy Test

Justin Bieber is no longer just a baby face, but perhaps the father of Mariah Yeater’salleged, perfect-haired, love child.  20-year old Yeater claims that her 3-month old baby is the result of a sexual encounter with the teen sensation at a Los Angeles performance last year.

Bieber denies all rumors, calling them “crap”, and agreed to take a DNA test to prove that he is not the father. He even told Matt Lauer on the Today Show that he knows he will be a target, but refuses to be a victim.

While, the little man tours in Europe gracing the stage as a heart throb in purple and metallic motifs, in all his pre-pubescent glory, I have been pondering over his lyrics. To the young love he references in his smash hit “Baby”  he promised this nameless girl any ring…did he sign his own death warrant? Now, the Biebs might need to put a ring on his shameful, late night rendezvous.

Beiber also should take it easy on his new track “Mistletoe”, perhaps he has been too promiscuous with his “shawtys” under the mistletoe and should spend more time counting the little piggy’s on his alleged baby’s toes. Although, his track “Eenie Meenie” would actually make a decent nursery rhyme, before it references the bad chick he wants to catch.

As Bieber goes on to deny these baby rumors, his published lyrics do nothing but support the possibility of the young buck’s promiscuity. Practice what you preach.

The alleged interaction was one that was not only unexpected, but we see that the boppy little Beiber is not quite as innocent as he makes out in his songs and performances. “When we got to what turned out to be a bathroom, his whole demeanor changed,” said a teary-eyed Yeater, who wore a conservative cardigan for the interview. “It went from cute and gushy to, just, more aggressive.” (Quote courtesy of an interview via the Insider)

Once Beiber has “proven his innocence” he and his team plan to pursue Yeater in court.  This being the case, Beiber’s lawyer, Howard Weitzman, has contacted Yeater’s attorney and decided he would like to have the DNA test. Did I mention Beiber’s lawyer would pick the location of the DNA test? Makes you wonder just how accurate the test will be when Weitzmanis cherry picking the location of a potentially life changing decision maker.

It looks like little JB just needs to go on and change his lyrics to match his life style, “I’ve made a baby, baby, baaaaby. Yeah made a baby, baby, baaaaaaaby…”

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